Saturday, August 13, 2011

If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that that mean marriage is an institution of the blind?

Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?
Defendant: No, I did not.
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?
Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a lot less than the penalty for murder.

When a clock is hungry, does it go back four seconds?

A man told his neighbor: "I took my dog to the vet today because it bit my mother-in-law."
"Oh," said the neighbor. "Did you have it put to sleep?"
"No, I had its teeth sharpened.

A boy promised his girlfriend: " We're going to have a great time Saturday. I got three tickets to the big game."
"Why do we need three?" she asked.
"One for your father, one for your mother, and one for you kid sister!"

What lies on the ground, 100 feet in the air?
- A dead centipede.

Why is a tax loophole like a good parking spot?
- As soon as you see one, it's gone.

What is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
- About 30 pounds.

A man walked into a doctor's office with a lettuce leaf sticking out of his ear. The doctor said: "Hmmm, that's strange." The man said: "That's just the tip of the iceberg!"

Phillips, Dave. The Giant Book of Jokes: Over 4000 of the Shrewdest, Silliest, Funniest Jokes You'll Ever Hear. 1. 1. London: Magpie Books Pub Pty Ltd, 2005. Print.

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